my nan is in hospital with a broken hip. she was so good when I saw her on sunday and gave her the new clothes. I am so sad. But I am so angry with my family who refuse to come and be with her. I'm sick of hearing their feeble excuses. I've had to tell work I just don't know if I'll be in today; I just don't want Nan to be all alone and I'm going in to just be with her and hold her hand. Her sister was there yesterday.
I keep getting a visual of my nan and me sitting on a bench in the most beautiful garden I've ever seen; so many wonderous perfumed flowers, sun shining, bees buzzing, birds singing, and my nan is crocheting a rug and she is asking me how everyone is (every 10 minutes or so because she has dementia). It is so peaceful and feels so wonderful.
I don't know what is going to happen. My family don't want the operation to take place. They would rather be cowards and hope that nan will just pass away, but worse case she may linger on pain killers for the rest of her life (even if that is weeks, months or years) with no hope. Even if its not possible to recover, at least if she has the operation and survives she's got something to fight for and can go down fighting like she always has in the past. I don't know. I don't know what is best. I just feel its wrong for her to be on her own at this point in time, so I'm going to the hospital today.
I don't know if I'm strong enough. I don't know what to say. But I'm going.